Remember the blog project I did last year with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!
This week, I picked the topic: What is something you did that changed someone else's life?
Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Mom of Many
When I was in college, I became friends with a girl who was initially roommates with a close friend of mine. At first, I thought we would have nothing to talk about, as she seemed pretty shy. Then she found out that I like "Degrassi High" and our friendship took off from there. We hung out a lot and e-mailed all the time. Around the time she graduated and moved out to the northern suburbs of Chicago, I was dealing with an annoying situation involving the guy I had been dating at the time. As a result of this situation, I would hang out on dating sites but not to actually find someone to date. Long story.... In any case, when I did start talking to someone nice, I'd choose to introduce them to one of my single friends. This friend in particular was the best candidate. She had her life together and was also attractive. I decided to invite one of the guys, with whom I thought she would be a good match, to attend my birthday party at the Neo Futurarium that summer. He showed up and even brought a friend with him. The intended guy and my friend seemed to hit it off that evening and went out on some dates after that. After a while, he wasn't paying as much attention to her, but his friend was. Soon, my friend and the intended guy's friend had become pretty serious, even moving in together. They were engaged after six months. I was very happy for them, and oddly enough, a bit jealous. I was still in the relationship with the guy whom the annoying situation revolved around. Seeing and/or hearing about my friend with this new guy made me realize that my relationship was dragging. (And yet I let it drag out for another year or so after this realization.)
Looking back on it, I feel I was a huge catalyst for my friend to meet her husband. I was thrilled to attend their wedding and very excited for them when they had their first child. Around that time, I had met my husband and was happy that they liked him too. However, they didn't attend our wedding. This was because my friend started giving me the brush off and never said why. I sometimes wonder if it was because I didn't fit into her life since I didn't have kids yet. While I'm still happy for her because she found her soul mate, I have to wonder if she would have found him if I hadn't forged the path for her. (The same way I may not have met my husband if certain catalysts weren't in place.) If they were meant to be together, then maybe fate would have still put them in the same room. Or she could have met someone else, but she'd have a completely different life as a result. I don't regret indirectly helping her find her true love, regardless of the fact that we haven't talked in almost nine years. Even though I have a lot of friends who would never shove me aside, I still find myself missing her a lot. Maybe it's the lack of closure or just knowing that we probably would still have a lot to talk about if we were still talking.
Side note: The guy I had originally intended for her stopped talking to me after she chose his friend over him. Sorry, but I'm not the one who took her for granted and let his friend capture her interest instead. He met someone else anyway.
I did make a direct match for someone else around the same time as the indirect match. I had a close friend whom I met through the Rocky Horror cast I performed with. He was the first person I ever e-mailed when I got an e-mail account at school. We hung out whenever I was back in town for a school break. He was really nice and a great hugger, but I never felt attracted to him as more than a friend. He was about seven years older than me and that felt huge at the time. Once when he was complaining to me about not being able to attract the right girls (he was going after someone who was around my age, as well), I told him he should try dating someone closer to his age. Then I talked to a friend of mine whose sister was his age. We decided to pair them up, not knowing if it would work or not. Things worked out better than expected. They dated for quite a while before getting engaged. I felt quite proud at their wedding, as they introduced me as their matchmaker. It was a heady feeling to realize that I caused two people to meet and fall in love. It was amazing to be at their wedding and know I was a huge reason behind why everyone was there in the first place. (I wonder if my husband's friend felt that way at our wedding.) I don't hear from this friend all that much, but it doesn't really bother me either. I hear updates on his life from my friend, since she's now his sister-in-law and aunt to his kids (who are close in age to my sons).
I'm glad I was able to play a role in people meeting the loves of their lives, either directly or indirectly. I know it brought some great karma into my own life and even my matchmaker had his own taste of good karma shortly thereafter. While the matches I helped facilitate weren't for Jewish couples, I know it's a special mitzvah to make a shidduch. I hope to be able to help people do that someday. If it's not for my friends, then maybe for my kids and their friends in the future.